| Total 24 Items |
| Displaying Page 1 of 2 |
| Sort By : |
|
| Musings about Mom's Day |
| By
Me Monday, May 12, 2008 at 10:42
|
|
|
Mother's Day Instructions
You don't have to say thank-you
For the things I do for you.
Just give me a grin, now and then.
When I wrap you up in a hug,
Do not pretend to return it-
I like to see you turn red and shrug.
No need to buy me a card,
Which says all the right things.
I'd rather have you blurt
what's really on your mind--
Whether or not it is kind.
If I push your buttons--
Push mine back.
On the chance I say something
You find funny,
Open your mouth and laugh.
And when I've done you wrong,
Forgive me,
As I forgive you.
That's all I ask.
|
|
|
| Why Bother? |
| By
Me Monday, April 14, 2008 at 12:49
|
|
|
The ground is thawed, Spring seems to have arrived, and so I am busy cleaning off the gardens. I am also still finishing up the landscaping around our new business building. Since it is also the 'home' of the Flower Kingdom Series, I wanted the plantings around the building to be whimsical and FUN. We planted masses of tulips, hyacinths, and allium last fall, and I am pleased to see most of them are popping their little heads up! YAY!
In cleaning off, thinning down the gardens at home, I always have tons of extra plants that I end up pitching. In an attempt to save some, and also to propogate some varieties and species that I am particularly fond of, I am also busy transplanting cuttings of certain varieties. Now is the perfect time to do that, the earlier you can transplant cuttings, the better luck you will have getting them established and blooming the first year of a transplant... And so, I was transplanting some of my 'extra's at our shop building this morning when a stranger pulled up in a van.
While making his way into the front door, he looked at me, on my knees, planting transplants into the soil around the front of the building.
I didn't know him from Adam and so I don't honestly know if he was a bit mean spirited, or if it was merely his attempt at humor, but he looked at me and dryly opined "They'll never grow!"
"Yes, they will, one has to have faith." I replied, a bit shocked and slightly irritated.
I've been transplanting cuttings for years. More often than not, they grow quite nicely. In fact, I always have more successes than failures with everything I try in the garden. The point is: One has to try!
I would imagine, that when one has the attitude that 'it won't work anyway, why bother', there isn't much success at the end of the day, in large part because with that attitude, why would anyone ever TRY anything?
Yet, while I try anything in the garden, or with plants and seeds, I'm the same way as that crotchety man--in my life.
Hmm.
How many times haven't I thought, nah, why bother, it won't grow anyway! ... and left the truth unspoken when I could have at least TRIED to plant a seed in another's heart.
More often than not, either due to laziness, or fear that I may be rejected, and so, the excuse 'it won't grow anyway, why bother' is one to which I hold fast.
It is clear that I need to be a better gardener in life, that I need to be fearless and bold and 'try anything' with those seeds -- not just in the dirt.
|
|
|
| Squash |
| By
Me Tuesday, April 01, 2008 at 19:33
|
|
|
Tomato plants, Delphiniums, Painted Daisies, Bells of Ireland, Squash...they, and others, are in tiny containers, barely sprouted, some on the windowsill, some on the countertop, and still others on the table-- in my upstairs writing room.
The sun is winding down for it's evening descent (it is 6:00 pm as I write this).
The stringy squash plants on the table look as if they are desperately trying to eavesdrop on a conversation being held out the West window.
The tomato plants in the South window look like their little necks are going to get a creak in them from their awkward pose toward the other window. Every single living thing in the room is leaning West, without shame, toward the rays of the sun.
Except me-I don't feed off the sun. I'm leaning toward my computer screen, like a zombie, at the moment... la la la...
Yet, I am no different than those stringy squash seedlings leaning so comically to one side. Others can tell, with but one look, which way I am leaning on any given day. Toward the Son (Christ)--or toward man, things of the world, and/or my own self...
Sobering thought.
Squash don't lean one way and say they are really leaning another. Squash don't shrink from the sun, they try to draw near it.
We can learn a lot from squash.
|
|
|
| March-ing On |
| By
Me Friday, March 28, 2008 at 14:07
|
|
|
March
The sun but teases us this time of year. There is little warmth in its rays.
The air reveals what's really going on--moist, damp, cold coming up out of the ground, grabbing hold-- the cold scatters itself around with flakes of snow mixed in with the rain.
We head indoors, close the doors and pull the shades. Aware it isn't as warm yet as we 'd like it to be.
Yet, it is no longer Winter, then again, it's hardly Spring.
What to do, when one feels the same inside?
The cold has not quite left, yet, there is no warmth to find. Existence is but a lull, the old still lingering, the new not yet within reach.
And so we retreat, stop, close up and turn within.
When really, what we should be doing is March-ing on.
|
|
|
| Who's Girl Are You? |
| By
Me Thursday, March 27, 2008 at 12:17
|
|
|
She answers, finger going into her mouth, brown eyes huge, dimpled cheeks grinning, "Mommy's, Daddy's, and Grandma and Papa's."
Which got me thinking about the games we play, the way we covet the precious little ones all to ourselves, all of which seems so innocent, and so very, very sweet.
Yet, it makes me wonder...
Who loves you best?
My King
Who do you love best?
My King
So then.....who's girl are you?
My King's!
|
|
|
| What Happens When Balls Drop? |
| By
Me Thursday, March 27, 2008 at 12:13
|
|
|
-they roll around on the floor
-they bounce, sometimes knocking something over, or resulting in a spill
-getting hit by a loose ball doesn't hurt near as bad as the thought of getting hit by one
-the world keeps on spinning*
*no matter how many balls get dropped in my home/work/life
|
|
|
| Skin so thick, it could withstand a tornado... |
| By
ME Wednesday, March 05, 2008 at 16:02
|
|
|
Got another rejection letter, for a work I am trying to sell, yesterday-- in the form of an email this time. I don't know how many rejections that's now been as I've stopped keeping track, and many places don't even give you the courtesy of a rejection letter. It's been oodles, put it that way.
And, in part, because of ALL that rejection--I went through a phase of disillusionment, and real despair, where I just wanted to quit.
If a writer makes it through that period of inevitable disillusionment, yet is still putting one foot in front of the other and going forward... well, many believe that's when things can finally start to happen.
Nah, I do not think doors will start to open any time soon. Well, maybe, but I've learned its best not to think about the future, when you are a writer. I sort of like reflecting about the past, best...
See, there is a nice side effect from all that rejection which is REALLY noticeable in hindsight. Constant rejection can really force one to rely more fully on Christ. It also can hone one's ability to deflect criticism, and rejection in all forms -- biting comments from family members, stings from irate customers on the phone, barbs from miffed friends...
This last rejection letter in my inbox yesterday had the positive effect of layering on another level to my growing ability to handle LIFE and all it throws at me by turning more and more fully to Christ.
And I think that last layer has now made my skin so thick, it could prolly withstand a tornado. Which is a good thing, considering I live in a trailer park...
la la la...that's all she wrote...
|
|
|
| Pen on Paper, Proverbs, & the New Age Movement |
| By
Me Tuesday, March 04, 2008 at 12:17
|
|
|
I will now (attempt to) explain how these three things go together.
I've been very frustrated as of late.
When I share freely with adults some of the sketchy false mantras I happen to notice in the corrupt world we live in... *please note the use of the word: ADULTS... it seems I often get a lip curling, narrowed eyelids, 'who does she think she is'? response. They sometimes even say the following out loud (if not, the look on their faces says as much): I'm preachy. I'm judgemental. I act like I'm the moral authority. I'm too critical. I'm the one with the problem. I need to relax.
When I share freely the same veins of deceitfulness I notice in our corrupt world, with children, I am either met with wide eyed wonderment at the truth being given a voice, a head nodding in agreement, OR, if I am off base, or just not clear enough; a simple, 'nah, that doesn't sound right...' or a 'how so?' (muttered with sincere confusion, NOT traces of offense and hostility.) Which then forces me to re-examine the vein I was tracking, and often leads to greater clarity for all parties involved. *please note the use of the word: CHILDREN
Why are we adults so prone to viewing what other adults freely share with such a 'take offense' and 'win the argument', hostility laden, knee-jerk reaction?
Why are children so much more open to truly listening to, and honestly and innocently gauging those things others share with them?
Why do children rarely react, to what another shares, with offense-- while adults, more often than not, react with thinly concealed belligerence?
I've been fond of penning thoughts lately. Huge surprise, as I am an avid TYPIST and I hate to write, I have horrid handwriting, so I am totally shocked by this recent kinship with my pen and notepad. I can't explain it other than that suddenly it just feels good to put pen to paper, to scribble a bit, to ramble on and on with a blank notepad and ink pen rather than a blank computer word file and keyboard. Go figure.
Last night, I penned, on paper, some base differences between the New Age movement, versus what I have coined the 'Old Adages Based on Truth' (the things Grandma used to espouse).
New Age
1.-Self-Help
-Self-Hype
-Self-Centered
2. -Dreams Fulfilled
3. -Good comes from within
4. -Set your mind to accomplish your goals, then anything is possible
5. -self-esteem is good and leads to an enhanced life and society
6. -Spirituality
-meditating
7. -Faith in the natural world and order (Karma)
Old Adages Based on Truth
1. -Humility and Servitude
2. -Let go of selfish dreams, live for Christ
3. -bad comes from within, good from above
4. -anything is possible with God, when you trust His plan over your own
5. -highly esteeming ones-self leads to discontentment, deceitful behavior, corruption, and crimes against our fellow man.
6. -belief
-prayer
-meditating on scripture and God's love
7. Faith in the one true, Triune God, and salvation through Christ.
My youngest boy and I sat on the couch last night, I on one end, he on the other, toe to toe, both reading our own copy of the same book. He had a pen in his hand, and I had a pen in my hand. He put stars on some of the pages, I put stars on others.
Reading toe to toe with a ten year old at the other end of the couch is good medicine.
Having him blurt out, every so often, an old adage which he had found to be particularly 'cool' restored my soul.
After he'd gone to bed I opened his copy of the 'Book'. He'd put a star by Proverbs 6:20 'My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching.'
Thank God for children.
|
|
|
| manipulation is my muse |
| By
Me Friday, February 15, 2008 at 12:33
|
|
|
The subject of manipulation has been on my mind for a few weeks now. Admittedly, it all started out as something I noticed another doing. As God often does, He was merely holding up a mirror with that sin I noticed in that other person, wanting me to take a good hard look at me-own self and not pick apart that other in whom I had suddenly noticed, and hadn't seen prior, a very clear, obvious, and life long, penchant for manipulation.
SIGH. It’s so much easier, though, to believe that reflection in the mirror belongs to someone else, and to cut that other down mercilessly, rather than examining my own heart and actions. But, I learned long ago, and at times can still recall that lesson, that when God displays another’s sinful condition in such a clear and reflective light, it is rarely because we are to try and fix that other person, or shame that other person, or what have you. Rather, it is usually entirely because whatever we have just noticed in that other is the VERY sinful condition we need to realize is shining back at us from our own mirror, and which needs to be taken straight to the cross.
Nevertheless, when it comes to controlling and getting what I want, by whatever means necessary (manipulation)…instead of the ideal of submission, trust, and dependence on God…I am tempted to just leave the sin itself be, and instead blame my own penchant for manipulative behaviors on being a woman. After all, in Genesis, Rebekah manipulated her family, showed favoritism to Jacob over Esau and controlled Isaac as well.
Yet, to say, 'it’s because I am a woman', is a bit too much like blaming the devil for my sinful condition. God just led me through a period of time where I had begun to do that very thing, and so I know that's not a good fix.
Perhaps if I blamed it on a dysfunctional family, that would be better? After all, Jacob displayed plenty of manipulative behavior in his life, probably as a result of the dysfunction he grew up with, the favoritism of his mother, and lack of acceptance from his father, the subsequent sibling rivalry. Had Isaac been less passive, and Rebekah and he more intimate, and both of them more submissive to God; their children would have, undoubtedly, been more emotionally sound, and more trusting of God as well. Instead, Jacob displayed a very independent nature, a manipulative bent, and too little trust in God.
Hmmmm. Jacob's childhood sounds a bit like my own. Yet, instead of blaming it on my childhood, or my femininity, I know it’s simply better to say that I, myself, have a penchant to manipulate. And so, all I can do now is own that fact and deal with it. The truth is, when I become consumed with want for something or other— regard for right or wrong, and allowance for another’s boundaries and feelings, often go out the window. As long as I get what I want, that’s what matters most. I then tend to reassure myself that ‘I am worth it’. Hmmmmmmm. Obviously, since I need to re-assure myself of my own worth, and often do so through manipulation, well, I need to realize exactly how valuable I am to God as His child. Period.
Furthermore, what should matter, particularly in a family unit, is that everyone is as emotionally and spiritually healthy as they possibly can be. Such spiritual health can only occur when dependence on God comes first with the leaders of the family unit. Personal independence, self-sufficiency, and strict control is not the answer to doing away with manipulative behavior. While it may seem to be, it merely breeds more manipulation. To let go of those reigns of control, to trust inherently, and to believe wholeheartedly in my Heavenly Father is the only way to stifle out the seeds that grow into manipulative behavior.
And so, as usual, the answer to wiping out that ugly thing staring back at me in the mirror is to kill it—to die to self, trusting in Jesus, alone, for atonement. After that’s done, it’s easy to get up off my knees, in a submissive frame of heart, not caring at all if my former selfish wishes get met, and letting God bring forth something pleasing in my own mirror.
The tough part, of course, is admitting that the ugly thing in the mirror belongs to me, and that it has to die. I would much rather notice the ugly thing, which needs to die, in another, and that, logically, is a penchant which I blame entirely on my childhood...
la la la...that's all she wrote...
|
|
|
| Five Chairs |
| By
me Monday, January 28, 2008 at 10:51
|
|
|
There are five chairs at our kitchen table this week, instead of the usual four. We are in charge of a teenage boy while his mom is on vacation. And so it requires more organization and planning to be in charge of an extra kid...
I got a note from a friend last week saying she 'loved having company come' as it forced her to clean up and get stuff done that she'd been letting go undone. How true, when one has company one keeps things in better order, and cleaner than usual, and really great food is served and the fridge doesn't tend to run out of milk, nor the bathroom clean towels (or toilet paper, ahem), because one just makes sure all those things are kept up.
At the moment, our house is cleaner than it has been in a while, and the fridge a bit fuller as well and I have a note to go buy more toilet paper, la la la. Yet, the fifth chair around the table is hardly occupied by company.
The boy is more to us than mere company.
A fact that warms my heart when I awake early to make sure another load of laundry is started...
|
|
|
| irreverence |
| By
Andrea Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 18:58
|
|
|
Whoa, sometimes living in a cave has its benefits. Ignorance, as they say, is BLISS! HA!
But, then other times, I just feel like an idiot (well, that'd be most of the time I feel like an idiot). For instance, even though it's been around for years, up until today when a friend asked me if I'd ever heard about 'The Brick Testament' I'd never heard of it.
The Brick Testament are a series of books of illustrated Bible stories enacted/contrived with elaborate lego pieces/setups...ahhhhhhhhh, isn't that clever? Wait a minute, before you go and get your own copy of one of the books... the concept was contrived by an aetheist as a spoof... I looked it up online (I'm curious!) and indeed, the samples shown of the books and illustrations/etc. pretty much echo what my friend was saying -- he (the creator) is coming at it from a 'why would you show your kids the Bible' point of view, not a 'let's show the Bible in a whole new way' view, AND he is VERY irreverent. Yet, religious people and groups and parents are buying his books left and right, and asking his permission to use photos of the lego illustrations/etc. in Sunday school classrooms. And so I sense one of the reasons he is producing this series is to prove that religious people will run out and purchase anything they think is going to be of some religious value for their children, without even reading it themselves or getting to the bottom of what IT IS. All it has to say is 'Bible' or 'biblical' and, well, wallets open and products are shoved in front of our children. Sigh.
The Brick Testament seems to be the ultimate in 'I gotchya' jokes. And the joke seems to be working. But, ya know, while he was obviously (obvious to me anyway) contriving his own take on Scripture, and fully displaying it's violence and other horrors throughout (red square bricks to indicate bloodshed) ... well, in spite of all of that I didn't really have that large of a problem with what he is doing... I wasn't even moved to send him a scathing email, or a repent and turn to Jesus friendly sort of note... see, the truth is, what he is doing for some reason makes me laugh. And it really makes me laugh that most people seem to be missing the spoof and eating it up as if it's yet more manna from Heaven that's arrived at the Christian bookstore on the corner...the whole thing is kinda funny to me...as it was to my friend, bless her irreverent heart...
See, I am a fan of irreverent humor. I have a brother who is VERY good at irreverent humor. He often asks me if I love him and when I say yes, he replies, 'then feed my sheep!' I don't think he really has a point with that, other than for the sheer sake of silliness. And I know he means Christ no disrespect with it ('if you love me, feed my sheep' were words Christ said to Peter). Even tho he's asked me to feed his sheep at least a hundred times... I still laugh and shake my head each subsequent time he blurts out the familiar question 'do you love me?' Because I know the sheep thing is sure to follow (if you are reading this, dear brother of mine, you need a new joke, ahem).
I, myself, have joined him in the irreverent humor bit -- I recently am very fond of saying 'praise the Lord and pass the pepto bismol' as a way of reacting to over the top zealot behavior (to witness insincere/misguided behavior often gives me a fresh bout of indigestion). It seems many people take themselves, and dare I say it, their faith, entirely too seriously. See, if you take God Himself seriously, well, then you begin to see that He is not always serious, He has many moments of being like the goofy fun loving older brother with a genial trick up His sleeve and a witty comeback meant to crack you up...
Spend just a bit of time with scripture and you will see what I mean -- this morning I read from Genesis -- and in a note at the bottom of my concordance bible it explained that Leah and Rachel mean 'cow' and 'ewe' -- much like we now name our daughters Rose or Lily, in those days herdsman named their daughters after animals. I don't care who you are, THAT is funny... I know a Leah and a Rachel... la la la... I wonder what my name means? Geeze... I prolly don't wanna know...
In my opinion, God and His keen sense of humor was (and still is) at work throughout the history of His people which has unfolded and been recorded--
For instance, maybe He was poking fun at how we make so much of ourselves and our riches and our leadership roles, and just to prove a point and amuse Himself (and those who may catch on) He plopped out the King of Kings in a dirty stable... and had him ride in a parade on a donkey... and it's kind of funny that when Jonah began to blabber and moan and not want to listen to God, he ended up in the belly of a whale. I mean, of all the places I would have thought of to plop my own child after a bout of insolent behavior followed by 'the whines' -- well, a whale's belly is not only a very good practical joke it is also not something I, as a parent, ever would have dreamt up to bring about a change of heart in a child. I mean, we humans have such infantile imaginations we think up things like 'the naughty chair' or a 'time out'... Indeed, God is quite clever, and has a vivid imgination to boot...suffice it to say that He could easily be the King of late night television and throw down one liners faster than Carson and Leno and Letterman put together.
And so what's my point?
I'll get there...
See, a person has to either pour all of their heart into being an unbeliever, or all of their heart into being a believer -- there really can be no middle ground. And, ironically, to be an aetheist takes even more effort and conviction than it takes to be a true believer. Why? Because, a believer has to simply believe in Christ and the rest follows. To be an aetheist, one must constantly be proving one's convictions. One way that is done is through irreverence. Take the brick testament -- the guy seems to have poured his life into it (those illustrated scenes are QUITE elaborate and take much time to construct!) and obviously he puts great thought (and time!) into exactly how next he is going to show off his irreverent musings in relation to atrocious Bible stories that he can't understand why parents would show to their innocent children. Looking at his work, which is amazing work, indeed, it is blaringly obvious that he is quite clever; for a human. But, even as clever as he is, well, he pales next to the ultimate Comedian.
On a similar bent, some people react, and act, not out of unbelief, but rather out of woundedness. I know, I was/am one of those people! I believe, BUT it is so easy to pile on those hurts and those rejections to the stronghold I've already got going, and pretty soon I've closed myself off entirely, nice and safe (yeah right! more like holed up and dying with little hope for freedom) and voila, when that happens, irreverent words flow freely from my jaded lips. That's a dangerous place to be. And so perhaps of greater concern should be the condition of the heart which is leading one to be irreverent. For there is innocent irreverence, and then there is the kind that is either a result of constantly needing to prove one's reasons for unbelief, or, a result of being holed up in a stronghold from woundedness and rejection.
The same God that dreamt up throwing a whiny child into the belly of a whale has a whole bunch of other quirky jokes up His sleeve. All of them meant to bring about a change of heart in those children who desperately need to trust, and understand, His loving heart...
In the end, I have a feeling that it will be quite fun(ny) to see what He does with The Brick Testament.
la la la...that's all she wrote...
|
|
|
| Home |
| By
Andrea Tuesday, January 22, 2008 at 16:03
|
|
|
'Home is where the heart is' -- as cliche, and simple, as it sounds, it really does all boil down to that.
While my last blog entry was all about how perhaps we should be a bit displaced here on earth since we all are tourists in a foreign land and have yet to make it Home (Heaven)... I now realize that because we have the Spirit within our hearts we can, and should, feel a bit at home wherever we go.
The true Spirit is not often found in ornate churches, in contrived gatherings, in statues of saints, or necklaces fashioned into crosses and hung about necks. The outside of the cup, no matter how ornate, does not, and can not, hold a thing, nor mean a thing. Rather, we always find the thing of value, the sustenance, inside of the cup or vessel -- inside our hearts, and the hearts of others, lies the nourishment, the sustenance, the value. There is little value in a building, no matter how ornate. There is little value in a statue, no matter how glorified the saint. We can travel the ends of the earth to find a 'holy place' or view a beautiful tabernacle and find little moving us to a change of heart. It is when we look, and listen, and share, with others that God reveals Himself to us. Those encounters can, and do, happen everywhere, and anywhere, at all; when one is open to such a thing. What surprises me is how few people are open to such a thing, and how when such a thing happens, how few people realize God's heart is on display for any who wishes to catch a glimpse.
And for that reason (the fact that so many seem to be so oblivious) -- I am sharing this post:
In my own experience true prophets have not been found standing gloriously at the front of a mega church, with a long line of people waiting for a laying on of hands and blessings and prophecies to be revealed. A prophet is more than likely waiting in line at the ticket counter, with a smile, a quiet demeanor, and wide open eyes, or parked quietly in the seat right next to you on a long airplane ride. A prophet does not refer to him or herself as such, but you will know, when you've encountered one. Then you will find yourself referring to him or her as such.
And so here's but some of what I learned in Mexico: I learned that an ornate church can be cold and void of the Spirit, yet outside, sunshine on my back and cobblestones beneath my sandles, I can look across the street and see the heart of God walking into a Mexican coffeehouse. Indeed, I saw nothing of God's heart in the statues which were everywhere, the crucifixes, the candles, the shrines. I saw a lot of religion, but little belief. Rather, I saw His heart best in a man plopped next to me on an airplane, then again when I spied that same man walking across the street from a church. And so I did what I knew I was to do in that moment -- I ran across that little village street to the Mexican coffeehouse, after exiting the cold spirit-less church, and expressed my deepest gratitude for the things he had shared with me two days prior, when he was sitting next to me on the airplane ride. He smiled and humbly said, 'that's just who some people are.'
Indeed, it is just how, and who, some people are; especially when aware that they are already a little bit home.
It is entirely a matter of the heart, not the body, nor the mind, and certainly not a denomination, nor a building, nor a human made up ministry or human contrived leadership. Leaders in the Kingdom readily pour themselves into others on an airplane ride, or sitting on a beach chatting with a local. Leaders do not look like obvious leaders. Rather, they look like they are already a bit at home; wherever they go.
After my recent journey, a part of me, my heart, will now feel a bit more at home wherever I go.
|
|
|
| | |